I planned my best friend Riley’s bachelorette this past August. Fourteen of us, three days in Traverse City, a honey theme, and a party bus to three wineries.
It was one of my favorite weekends ever. It was also eight months of work, and the fun part is only about two of those months. Here’s the order I did it in.
8 months out
Ask the bride three things before you look at a single Airbnb. When does she want it. What does she actually want to do. Who does she want there.
Then find a few places together, and have her start the group chat, not you. It lands better coming from her.
That first message needs the dates, the place, what it costs per person, and what else people should expect to pay for. Transportation, dinners, a bus, matching pajamas. Even a rough range is fine.
Be as transparent about price as you possibly can. This is where things get awkward, and being vague now just moves the awkward part to month six.
Everyone said yes, so we booked. Book as early as you can. I’d pick an Airbnb over a hotel block, because you usually get months of free cancellation. That matters when you’re putting down a deposit before anyone has paid you back.
6 months out
Send a real email, not another text in the chat. Mine had the link to the house, a tentative itinerary, and the actual price of the winery bus now that I had a quote.
Then say it plainly: if this doesn’t work for you, tell me now. Give people an easy way out while it’s early and nothing is paid for.
4 months out
This is the fun part. I made a Canva deck with the theme, the full itinerary, and a lookbook so everyone knew what to wear each day. Ours was “She Found Her Hunny,” honey and bees, everything yellow.
This is also when I took Riley out of the group chat. I wanted it to be a surprise, and I didn’t want her stressing about details at her own party.
Same week, send a Google Form asking for shirt sizes, whether people can pitch in for decorations and groceries, and any allergies. One form, once. Do it before you buy anything.
2 to 4 months out
Start ordering. I used Temu, Shein, Amazon and Etsy depending on what got me the most for my money. Most bachelorette decor is disposable and I wasn’t precious about it.
Order anything custom first. It takes the longest and it’s the worst thing to have show up late.
The two cheapest things got the biggest reaction: temporary tattoos with the groom’s face, and his face on a stick. Those are in every photo from the weekend.
I also set up a bag and a bed setup for Riley to find when she walked in. Matching pajamas, a bride hat, a sash, a little tote. Take a picture of it before anyone touches it.
1 month out
Send a spreadsheet with every cost broken out per person. Not one total.
| What | Cost per person |
|---|---|
| The house | split by headcount |
| Winery party bus | split by headcount |
| Matching pajamas | $12.94 |
| Decorations | $13.91 |
| Groceries | TBD |
Two things made this work. I put groceries as TBD instead of guessing, because nobody minds a TBD and everybody minds a number that turns out to be wrong. And I collected for the pajamas and decorations up front. I ended up buying more decor later, and because everyone had chipped in I wasn’t quietly paying for the whole weekend myself.
The stuff she’ll actually remember
The wineries were great. The bus was great. But what Riley talked about was the small stuff that was obviously about her.
She loves sweets, so we did a candy salad, custom cake pops, and a sign that said Love is Sweet, Take a Treat. She loves spritzes, so we built a spritz bar with her favorites. She loves games, so I made Kahoots about her and Hunter, and a scavenger hunt for the bars on Saturday.
I asked everyone to send me photos with the bride ahead of time and printed them for a photo wall. One of the girls coming is a good artist, so she painted the banner. Ask your group what they can do.
The penis stuff was the biggest hit of the weekend, for what it’s worth. The ring toss and a blow-up doll with the groom’s face taped on got more laughs than anything else. Read the room on that one, especially if moms are coming. Ours loved it.
None of it was expensive. All of it was specific to her.
1 week out
Send the itinerary again, what to pack, the dress code for each day, and what time to arrive. Answer the questions before people ask them. Then put the bride back in the group chat.
During the weekend
You are the point of contact for EVERYTHING. What time are we leaving, where are we eating, which bar next, whose car. Be ready for it.
My best answer all weekend was “whatever the bride wants.” When everyone at the bar asked me where we were going next, I didn’t want to be the one deciding. It’s her weekend, and handing it back to her took the pressure off me too.
If you only do four things
- Have the bride send the first text, with the real numbers in it.
- Ask about money early, in writing, with an easy way to opt out.
- Collect for shared costs up front.
- Build the little things around what she specifically loves.